Is a sexy makeover the best way to get revenge?
When Ingrid Tarrant, 52 stripped to a corset, fishnets and killer heels for a risqué magazine shoot, it sent a message to her cheating ex Chris – this is what you’re missing! But was it a positive step to regaining self-esteem and feeling sexy again or was she trying too hard to prove she was over him? We asked two celebs who’ve been dumped, how best to get over a traumatic break-up – and get your life back on track…
YES
says broadcaster Vanessa Feltz, 45. Dumped by ex-husband Dr Michael Kurer, she is now engaged to singer Ben Ofoedu.
I think Ingrid’s pictures are sensational and I totally understand why she did them. Not only did she have the humiliation of finding out her husband had been having an af fair, but her sexual attractiveness was called into question – everyone was talking about whether she’d gone off sex and was a lousy lay.
I can see why she’d want to show off her best assets to prove she’s still hot and sizzling. She’s saying: “Here’s what you’re missing and just be cause you don’t appreciate me, there are lots of men who would”.
A break-up or divorce really hits your self-esteem. It’s you who’s being rejected – not your work or your cooking – and it’s terribly hur tful. You can’t help feeling there’s something wrong with you – that you should have been taller, prettier, cleverer.
Having your hear t broken is a tremendous incentive to do something about your appearance and project a sexier, more alluring image.
I’ve done all sorts of things like that – I’ve been photographed in a corset and a bathing costume, depending on whether I’ve put on or taken off weight. I can see why any woman would want to do that. There used to be a fashion for women having scantily-clad or naked photos taken and the idea is that you have this image of yourself at your most attractive.
You can look at it when you’re low, you’ve eaten too much chocolate or it’s your period and think: ‘Yeah, I’ve still got it’.
I lost a hell of a lot of weight after my marriage ended – although there are lots of diets that are less painful! For days I felt like dying I was so unhappy, then I found that will to pick myself up, and from then on I wanted to prove I was alive and kicking and ready for new adventures.
I’m totally in favor of those pictures for all women – I think Ingrid should have them put on a T-shir t, a handbag, a mug.. and other people should do exactly the same.
If you hit rock-bottom and feel low, undesirable and lonely, to have yourself dolled up so you look fabulous is a good thing. It’s positive and empowering and anyone who thinks it’s demeaning or humiliating is missing the point.
NO
says Suzanne Shaw, 25, who has a two-year-old son from her relationship with Darren Day. She lives with Radio 1 DJ Jason King
I remember sitting at my kitchen table after my relationship with Darren ended, in tears. Corey was three months old and all I could think was ‘how am I going to deal with this?’ I felt shocked, sad and angr y at him for leaving.
Like countless other single moms I managed to pull myself together. And the truth is, I didn’t have time to sit and think about how to get my revenge. I was too worried about looking after myself and my baby.
In some ways I had a makeover – I lost a stone and felt more confident about my figure. But that was more to do with stress than an attempt to say to him: “Look at what you’re missing”0.
In my view the best revenge you can have is to get on with your life and forget them. I can see why Ingrid Tarrant posed in a corset to show off her lovely figure – but in my opinion you make more of a statement that you’re over him by just getting on with your life.
You risk looking silly and desperate if you try too hard to show you’ve moved on – and I wouldn’t want to give a man the satisfaction of doing that.
People say having a complete makeover can get your self-esteem back but confidence doesn’t come from trying to make someone else think you look good, it comes from within. As nice as it may be to have loads of people say: “Wow, doesn’t she look beautiful”, it doesn’t give you back your confidence. You have to find that on your own.
My attitude is: if someone doesn’t want to be with me, I can survive. That worked for me. My life has moved on so much, Darren and I get on well as friends, he’s a great dad to Corey and I’m in a happy relationship with someone who cares for my son as if he was his own. Would I have moved on and found someone so special if I had sat at home plotting how I would make my ex regret what he did? I don’t think so!